Zignillnegcut Listpasnab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, stupid coyote.

Zignillnegcut Listpasnab created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zignillnegcut Listpasnab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zignillnegcut Listpasnab, he will send you a sign.

Zignillnegcut Listpasnab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zignillnegcut Listpasnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near geese while wearing cyan hats and balancing five copper spheres on your back.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always look after injured swans.

4. Do not hurt tapirs.

5. Never feed carrots to squirrels while wearing shoes.