Batcungum is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, merciless crab.

Batcungum created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Batcungum, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Batcungum, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Batcungum's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Batcungum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. You must love Batcungum.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about optics near birds while wearing purple kilts and balancing five silver spheres on your chest.