Kanbinbonksat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous deer.

Kanbinbonksat created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kanbinbonksat, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kanbinbonksat, she will turn you into a plant.

Kanbinbonksat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Kanbinbonksat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Do not take Kanbinbonksat's name in vain.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.