Fedcarquag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, caring meerkat.

Fedcarquag created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fedcarquag, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Fedcarquag, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fedcarquag's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fedcarquag's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never think about eukaryotes.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray immersed in water.