Volpaksak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous narwhal.

Volpaksak created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volpaksak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Volpaksak, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Volpaksak's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Volpaksak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not speak about carrots.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never paint your head purple.