Dobmonzod is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, annoying eagle.

Dobmonzod created a charm quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobmonzod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dobmonzod, he will jump up and down on your head.

Dobmonzod's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dobmonzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.