Yogbestkin is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, unthinking weasel.

Yogbestkin created humanity two million years ago.

If you believe in Yogbestkin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yogbestkin, she will turn you into a slug.

Yogbestkin's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yogbestkin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yogbestkin first in all things.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near capybaras while wearing blue rings and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.