Saffothimkikquamvonbod is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, sage crane.

Saffothimkikquamvonbod created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Saffothimkikquamvonbod, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Saffothimkikquamvonbod, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Saffothimkikquamvonbod's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Saffothimkikquamvonbod's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing indigo shorts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always wear green.