Funkemflig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, grumpy finch.

Funkemflig created gold three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkemflig, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Funkemflig, she will send minions to preach to you.

Funkemflig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Funkemflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near sheep while wearing purple hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your feet.

3. Never write about planets.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look in ponds.