Bafbamhak is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, conceited monkey.

Bafbamhak created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafbamhak, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bafbamhak, it will curse you with boils.

Bafbamhak's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bafbamhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Bafbamhak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Put Bafbamhak first in all things.

5. Never paint your face white.