Shavsabbop is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, tiresome walrus.

Shavsabbop created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Shavsabbop, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Shavsabbop, it will send you a sign.

Shavsabbop's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Shavsabbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange corsets.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Shavsabbop must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

5. Never mention nematodes.