Hotvondam is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, blissful hippopotamus.

Hotvondam created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotvondam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Hotvondam, it will refuse to believe in you.

Hotvondam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Hotvondam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help snails in need.

2. Never leap near pigs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Always help horses.