Hattapkin is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, staggering chinchilla.

Hattapkin created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hattapkin, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hattapkin, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Hattapkin's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Hattapkin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five snakes in a large pit.

2. Put Hattapkin first in all things.

3. Never hurt birds.

4. Always look after injured frogs.

5. Do not listen to music.