Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, ill-tempered dragon.

Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Wapfligtetti Yartjipgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near bats while wearing violet ear rings and balancing nine copper spheres on your face.

2. Never feed lots of lentils to sharks while wearing fawn tights.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not listen to music.