Milfem is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast troll.

Milfem created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Milfem, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Milfem, he will ignore you.

Milfem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Milfem's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sheep.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about eukaryotes.

5. Never think about photosynthesis.