Lanjatved is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, caring mongoose.

Lanjatved created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanjatved, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lanjatved, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lanjatved's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Lanjatved's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.