Sagcisshonyat is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, deceitful squid.

Sagcisshonyat created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sagcisshonyat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sagcisshonyat, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Sagcisshonyat's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Sagcisshonyat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not hurt frogs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about dark energy near snails while wearing white corsets and balancing seven tin spheres on your back.