Rulzagleg Rutpaspon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, strong scorpion.

Rulzagleg Rutpaspon created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rulzagleg Rutpaspon, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rulzagleg Rutpaspon, she will turn you into a worm.

Rulzagleg Rutpaspon's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Rulzagleg Rutpaspon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to doves while wearing magenta tights.

2. Erect eight platinum sculptures of Rulzagleg Rutpaspon on top of important buildings.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always obey Rulzagleg Rutpaspon's priests.