Wittignurl is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid shrew.

Wittignurl created the Sombrero Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wittignurl, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Wittignurl, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wittignurl's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wittignurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Fast once a month.