Pangyatvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, competent dryad.

Pangyatvonk created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Pangyatvonk, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pangyatvonk, she will turn you into a dog.

Pangyatvonk's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Pangyatvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never sprint in holy places.