Tailcisstig is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthinking manatee.

Tailcisstig created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailcisstig, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tailcisstig, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tailcisstig's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tailcisstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never hurt otters.

5. Never talk about goats.