Wapspagnak Dogtunster is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, deceitful newt.

Wapspagnak Dogtunster created a charm quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapspagnak Dogtunster, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wapspagnak Dogtunster, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Wapspagnak Dogtunster's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Wapspagnak Dogtunster's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Always look after injured doves.