Barnmidbog is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful goose.

Barnmidbog created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnmidbog, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Barnmidbog, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Barnmidbog's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Barnmidbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Run away if eight swans approach from the east.

3. Never think ill of sick turtles.

4. Put Barnmidbog first in all things.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Barnmidbog on top of all buildings.