Fonfonnib Farlatham is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, tranquil whale.

Fonfonnib Farlatham created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fonfonnib Farlatham, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Fonfonnib Farlatham, he will not care at all.

Fonfonnib Farlatham's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fonfonnib Farlatham's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed coconuts to cats while wearing scarves.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not eat peanuts.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Do not cook food in pots.