Kipfarmif is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, confident deer.

Kipfarmif created tapeworms two million years ago.

If you believe in Kipfarmif, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kipfarmif, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kipfarmif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Kipfarmif's Holy Commandments

1. Kipfarmif must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.