Wathatnur is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, duplicitous crab.

Wathatnur created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Wathatnur, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Wathatnur, he will turn you into a worm.

Wathatnur's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Wathatnur's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not take Wathatnur's name in vain.

3. Always help whales.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about otters.