Tettiarngep is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, sage porpoise.

Tettiarngep created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettiarngep, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettiarngep, it will turn you into a worm.

Tettiarngep's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Tettiarngep's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve capybaras for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Never wear corsets.

4. Never talk about fluid mechanics near mice while wearing brown skirts and balancing three zinc spheres on your head.

5. Always help squirrels in need.