Carnegstaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, selfish shrew.

Carnegstaf created Asia eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Carnegstaf, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Carnegstaf, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Carnegstaf's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Carnegstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Carnegstaf loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Erect five copper sculptures of Carnegstaf on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about quantum field theory.

4. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.