Mutvanjendavonveg is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, intelligent deer.

Mutvanjendavonveg created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutvanjendavonveg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mutvanjendavonveg, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Mutvanjendavonveg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Mutvanjendavonveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.