Ganzimflam is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, awesome rat.

Ganzimflam created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganzimflam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ganzimflam, she will turn you into a tree.

Ganzimflam's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ganzimflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. You must love Ganzimflam.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.