Vannadflat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, able spider.

Vannadflat created the Sun nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vannadflat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vannadflat, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Vannadflat's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Vannadflat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to dolphins while wearing brown ear rings.

2. Hide if three seals approach from the west.

3. Do not take Vannadflat's name in vain.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Respect your elders.