Narlweggod is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful swan.

Narlweggod created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Narlweggod, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Narlweggod, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Narlweggod's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Narlweggod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near tortoises while wearing red skirts and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Narlweggod loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never feed oranges to snakes while wearing trousers.