Dinhonfunmat is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, resourceful bear.

Dinhonfunmat created the planet Saturn twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dinhonfunmat, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Dinhonfunmat, he will curse you with boils.

Dinhonfunmat's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Dinhonfunmat's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

2. Never think about quantum field theory.

3. Do not take Dinhonfunmat's name in vain.

4. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

5. Never talk about fire.