Beptunbif is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous goose.

Beptunbif created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Beptunbif, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Beptunbif, she will remove you from existence.

Beptunbif's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Beptunbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Beptunbif's name in vain.

2. Beptunbif must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Feed all hungry shrews.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. You must love Beptunbif.