Vonquillfad is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid sheep.

Vonquillfad created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonquillfad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonquillfad, it will remove you from existence.

Vonquillfad's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vonquillfad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Vonquillfad.

2. Do not keep eight birds in a large pit.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not eat onions.

5. Never feed lots of limes to badgers while wearing magenta jumpers.