Don is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust faun.

Don created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Don, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Don, she will strike you with lightening.

Don's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Don's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing green scarves and balancing seven nickel spheres on your face.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Don loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Do not listen to music.