Sogtombem is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic walrus.

Sogtombem created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogtombem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sogtombem, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sogtombem's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Sogtombem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Do not wear yellow clothing.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Never hurt mites.