Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, emotional otter.

Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum created a charm quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Cunbusyarl Quartgonfum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never run near rats.