Sitfemvid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty guinea pig.

Sitfemvid created dark energy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sitfemvid, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sitfemvid, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Sitfemvid's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Sitfemvid's Holy Commandments

1. Sitfemvid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never eat corn.

5. Do not kill doves.