Gubjabran is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy slug.

Gubjabran created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubjabran, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gubjabran, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gubjabran's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gubjabran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

2. Do not speak about cherries.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gubjabran.