Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, all-powerful spider.

Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot created Africa eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot, it will turn you into a goat.

Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Sintinbanpomgebspaggiddot's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not drink water in blue rooms.

5. Do not commit murder.