Nuttvonkhak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, narcissistic bee.

Nuttvonkhak created the planet Jupiter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttvonkhak, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttvonkhak, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nuttvonkhak's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Nuttvonkhak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Never hurt tapirs.

3. Put Nuttvonkhak first in all things.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

5. Always help sick doves.