Appxenzan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited eagle.

Appxenzan created the Sun eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Appxenzan, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Appxenzan, he will laugh at you.

Appxenzan's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Appxenzan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large lead sculpture of Appxenzan on top of all buildings.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Appxenzan.

3. Always help sick foxes.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.