Tonzognel is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless squirrel.

Tonzognel created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonzognel, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tonzognel, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tonzognel's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tonzognel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt mites.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about chromosomes.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Tonzognel must be the most important thing in your life.