Vilcab is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, competent armadillo.

Vilcab created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vilcab, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vilcab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vilcab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vilcab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing indigo coats and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Hide from magenta hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Never sing near eagles.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.