Pangrigruttcad is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, prudent dingo.

Pangrigruttcad created life three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangrigruttcad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pangrigruttcad, he will turn you into a sheep.

Pangrigruttcad's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Pangrigruttcad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight monkeys approach from the east.

2. Never talk about gravity near ants while wearing brown corsets and balancing five carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Never think about bacteria.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Always help sick seals.