Hapgutkip is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, humane coyote.

Hapgutkip created a down quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Hapgutkip, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hapgutkip, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hapgutkip's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hapgutkip's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

4. Never talk about optics near doves while wearing violet dresses and balancing five copper spheres on your chest.

5. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing purple corsets.