Ortbogdud is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet clam.

Ortbogdud created parasitic wasps eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ortbogdud, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ortbogdud, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ortbogdud's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Ortbogdud's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat hamsters with great respect.

2. Always help mice in need.

3. Never feed bread to ants while wearing purple boots.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.