Teennarfeb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, caring snake.

Teennarfeb created the solar system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Teennarfeb, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Teennarfeb, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Teennarfeb's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Teennarfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed lots of bananas to doves while wearing indigo shirts.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teennarfeb.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in black.

5. Never eat bark.