Ladhimlat is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, boastful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ladhimlat created the Small Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladhimlat, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ladhimlat, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Ladhimlat's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Ladhimlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near frogs while wearing brown scarves and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your chest.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near tortoises while wearing white boots and balancing six carbon spheres on your arms.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Ladhimlat on top of all buildings.